The Found Slide File, Vol. 3

Since it took two installments to make our way out of the Soviet Union (hey, it was a big place, it needed eight slides. Whatever.), I gave some serious consideration as to what the next batch of pictures would be, and I'm pretty sure I've picked a winner... of sorts. Enjoy your flight.


This smiling fellow is not unlike you or me, he wears synthetic suits, stands off-center to confuse photographers, and narrates slide shows about traveling abroad for business and pleasure. Today he is here to extol the virtues of flying to Scandinavia, that great nation towards the north of Europe, where people who think the New England Patriots play in the city of New England, go for their vacations.


Here he is, along with one of his buddies (seriously, I thought this was shot into a mirror at first) at the reservation desk, or he's testing out the furniture at Ikea, I really cannot accurately say. In other words, he is either about to embark on a magical journey, or he just got the extended warranty for his brand new Jaartüblårgh. Also, the amount of lines in the carpet make it seem like the designer was going for the only-popular-briefly-in-1984 style known as "vomit-inducing tiny football field."


So our man has taken his Ikea purchases home, packed his bags, and he's at the airport now. '80s German filmstar lady has given him his pre-flight shandy, and everyone's all smiles. While I get that this slideshow is all about the joys of flying, and the pleasant experience to be had on your way to downtown Scandinavia, have you noticed that we haven't actually seen what it's like inside the plane? I once flew from Skopje, Macedonia to Zagreb, Croatia on an airline called Avioimpex (look them up, they're bankrupt.), and it was the only time in my plane-flying life that I:
a) got on an airplane through the back door between the engines, which were on, and blowing hot jet engine exhaust at us;
b) didn't have that annoying pre-flight demonstration with the seatbelts and oxygen masks, because they basically just shut the door, shifted it from park to drive, and we were away; and,
c) experienced the terrifying relief of THE ENTIRE CABIN breaking out in spontaneous cheering applause when the pilot landed us safely in Zagreb.

All that was to say, the inside of that airplane was kinda gross, so when I see a thing about an airline, and don't see what it looks like inside the plane, I just immediately assume "used toilet paper all over the floor." And that's not okay.

So, the last frame is the airplane, in the air. It's got some cool stripes on it, says who it belongs to, all in all it is sort of a boring photo to end with, and I wouldn't have included it were it not part of the rest of the images, and my only tip-off as to what airline we're advertising here. But there is just one thing - for the purposes of this slide show, shouldn't the airplane be taking off? Now, I'm no airplane scientist, or even a fancy big city lawyer, but it really looks to me like this plane is but a few tense seconds from landing, its payload of businessmen and vacationers ready to clap wildly for another job well done by the captain. Just seems peculiar to me, but, again, no audio is included, so it is just another mystery of The Found Slide File.